Indoctrination into the group included believing that the group was special. So, when you are treated poorly by someone who is still in the group, it will make you feel bad until you finally break away from the indoctrination. When you realize that they are not special, just simple minded people willing to risk their lives and happiness for an expectation founded by another group of simpletons, then it won't hurt as bad. In fact, it will move you toward compassion, kinda like when you see a movie like Titanic. You know the ulitmate outcome of those on the boat, they will die, lives unfulfilled, dreams lost to the vastness of the deep, that will be the lot for those you have left behind. You have found a spot on the lifeboat...it is called hope, it is called purpose. Don't take it for granted. Grasp it with both hands and complete your journey, for this is all we truly know.
SOP